You know you should have stayed home from the market when...

1. It is so hot outside that the simple act of standing up causes the sweat to pour and the need to sit back down.
2. You discover that you have been wearing your skirt sideways (nearly backwards) the entire day. The fact that your zipper is at the side and that your pockets are dead center in front and in back doesn't seem to have phased you in the slightest.
3. After catching a glimpse of yourself in a mirror you discover that not one but two(!) poppy seeds from your morning bagel have taken up residence in between several of your front teeth. This discovery being made hours after said bagel was ingested.
   
4. The skirt and poppy seed issues combined with some serious Medusa hair (caused by infrequent though cyclonic winds) cause people to look at you with amused sympathy. You, of course, mistake those looks to be from empathetic fellow heat sufferers, never realizing that you are, in fact, the freak show they are watching.