Having something to say
It's been nearly a month since I've blogged and I must say.... I needed that. I just haven't had that much to say. Actually, perhaps I've had too much to say. Those things tend to go hand in hand, as odd as that may sound.
From time to time I get tired of things. Tired of people. Tired of jewelry. Tired of other people's jewelry. Tired of my need to waste time looking at things that will in no way further my own work or cultivate the type of inspiration that can feed my creative soul. I get tired of reading about people who say things like "creative soul." I get tired of learning lessons and finding meaning in everything or beauty in unexpected places. Beauty is everywhere, I know, but maybe it would be more fun to find the ugly in things; look at something, pick out the least attractive part and just let it be ugly. There is real, honest beauty in that.
The past month has been less than great. It's felt like a series of blows to the head (including two actual blows to the head which may explain this blog post) that have left me dulled. I've had the feeling of needing more coffee for weeks now - a substance to wake me up and make me resemble something human. This fog will lift, I know.
I've been thinkingtoo much a lot and reassessing my work and there will be changes in the future. I need to make work that pleases me first and foremost and then I just have to hope that everyone else will feel the same way. I'm done working for others. I take zero pleasure in that, as selfish as that may make me sound, but I think it's what every artist should do. Prostitution might pay, but what good is it when it's no longer fun?
And on that note.... I'll bid you goodnight. It's three in the morning and I'm starting to feel like I might actually be able to get some sleep. Thanks for reading, if you made it this far. And please, don't take any of my comments personally. I am not taking about anyone in particular or about any specific thing - I am just ranting about anything and nothing. That's what crazy people do. ;)
From time to time I get tired of things. Tired of people. Tired of jewelry. Tired of other people's jewelry. Tired of my need to waste time looking at things that will in no way further my own work or cultivate the type of inspiration that can feed my creative soul. I get tired of reading about people who say things like "creative soul." I get tired of learning lessons and finding meaning in everything or beauty in unexpected places. Beauty is everywhere, I know, but maybe it would be more fun to find the ugly in things; look at something, pick out the least attractive part and just let it be ugly. There is real, honest beauty in that.
The past month has been less than great. It's felt like a series of blows to the head (including two actual blows to the head which may explain this blog post) that have left me dulled. I've had the feeling of needing more coffee for weeks now - a substance to wake me up and make me resemble something human. This fog will lift, I know.
I've been thinking
And on that note.... I'll bid you goodnight. It's three in the morning and I'm starting to feel like I might actually be able to get some sleep. Thanks for reading, if you made it this far. And please, don't take any of my comments personally. I am not taking about anyone in particular or about any specific thing - I am just ranting about anything and nothing. That's what crazy people do. ;)
Comments
Cenya
THANK YOU for saying all this. I DO take what you say personally because I think about these things all the time and am also in a big flux right now.
I think "reflection fatigue" is completely natural, and good. If I'm constantly using my outside artist's voice it wavers me from my path, so I'm trying to work in waves of being internal, focused, doing my work then coming out to talk about it, write about it, (and sell it!) when I must. It's tricky. I think that I'm good at fighting the urge to be omnipotently upbeat, but even the need to constantly emote in any direction can be a suck.
I'm also trying, simply, to not look at everything. Especially everything on the internet! I'm sort of gathering a solid core of what/who really inspires me and tuning out the stuff that is petty or shallow or chips away at me in any way. cough cough etsyforum cough. Sometimes I don't realize how those things seep into me until it's too late.
About making work that pleases you: I'm coming to realize that although a lot of people tell me what they want to see, the work people really respond to is the work that pleases me. And there are a whole bunch of people orbiting your life, most of them other artists, who are waiting to respond to work that is directly yours, for lack of a better phrase. I don't mean that you aren't doing that at all now, I just mean that whenever I see the work of artists who are on a path and I see them moving along it in their own way and they share the results of their path by presenting work to the world I feel a gigantic YES well up in me. It's like I waited my whole life for them to spit out that painting, or song, or mug and YES they did it! Sometimes I think the only real, good, sustaining reason to work is for ourselves and for the other people who get the big YES.
~helen
a good thing..
i've done the same product with only small variations for over 20yrs..
this spring the burned out feeling took over..
it's lead me to the beading community which is a refreshing place to be..(for me)
my thought, make whatever changes it takes to make you feel contented and alive.
You do what feels right. We will be here behind you all the way to help you grow.
Enjoy the day, Nancy!
Erin
She has HER own style and knows that it's not everyone's style. She has a very loyal customer base. I respect her for that (and am glad I love her style!).
Her words resonate when I look too much at other's work. I'm reminded to create what I like, what colors I feel comfortable with, what media I want to explore, and not think about some 'trend' that will fade away like yesterday's news.
When you are true to yourself, your true art will emerge. You have so much talent - let it bloom.
(And I do think time away from the internet world is good for the soul.)
Thanks for sharing a piece of your world...
I'm in the same place, have been for a long time, struggling with many things. So I empathize.
Venting is good for the soul. You have friends here. I hope you know that I'm one of them who is more than happy to listen anytime you need.
It is good to know, tho, that 'this too shall pass.' It helps when riding out the low times.
I hope you're feeling better this weekend and having lots of snuggle time with the buns. ( Bunnies really do make everything better : )
H+H send sweet nose bonks!